By Jacqueline Soares

     Your ceremony is the heart and soul of your wedding and will likely be the most

personal memory of this special day.  So choosing an officiant is more critical than most

people realize.  Many couples, especially those who do not have a regular place of

worship, plan in advance for everything but the wedding officiant!  Personal referrals

can give you a sense of security but make sure the officiant meets your individual needs

and requirements.  There are many things to consider: 

The Officiant

     If at all possible, meet personally with the officiant to make sure you are comfortable

in their presence.  It helps to discuss in advance what you are looking for as a couple so

you are prepared to ask questions about everything that is important to you.   Are they

available for your wedding date and can you imagine them presiding over your special

day?   Do you like their voice and will it carry?  What will they wear?  Do they appear to

be sensitive and flexible in relating to you?  Do you sense they can collaborate with other

wedding professionals to make your day joyful and elegant?  Remember that your

officiant should be able to reflect your values, beliefs and the meaningful aspects that are

unique and special about your relationship. 

Pre-Marital Education

     Does the officiant require your participation in pre-marital education or counseling? 

If not, are you interested in participating?  Even when not required, pre-marital education

is an excellent investment in your future.  Learning more about each other’s strengths and

weaknesses and gaining enhanced communication/conflict resolution skills ensures the

best possible foundation for a happy marriage.  

The Ceremony and Vows

     Will the officiant work with you to develop a special ceremony which honors you as a

couple?  Can you use contemporary readings or are religious or scriptural readings

required?  Can you write your own vows or add special touches?  Your ceremony should

be an authentic expression of who you are as individuals and as a couple.  For the most

personal and unique wedding ceremony, your officiant should act as a guide and co-

creator (not a director).

Location

     Do you want to be married in a church, on the beach, or at some other special

location?  Is your officiant registered in the state or country where you plan to be

married?  Do special location arrangements need to be made and who will make them?

Fees and Other Considerations 

     Fees vary depending on services and travel requirements.  Do you want the officiant

only at the wedding ceremony or will you require them to be present at a rehearsal?  Do

you want to invite them to the rehearsal dinner and/or the dinner/reception after your

wedding?  Don’t assume anything without asking about each of these possibilities and

receiving clear answers from your officiant. 

     Finally, do you believe your wedding officiant will act as a trusted advisor capable of

meeting your needs through listening and encouragement, linking you to other resources,

or providing direction if desired?  This is your day – choosing the right wedding officiant

will create a special memory for years to come.     (article published WedPlan.net 2007)